Donn Plans, God (and Daisy) Laugh

First a quick "toilet" blog update. I have been very thankful for our toilet seat covers as we have been awakening to 44 degree temperatures "inside" our house.

But moving on, I know that this may come as a shock to many of you but if truth be told, I really don't have that many brilliant ideas. However, in early November I had one. There are a number of different train lines in Japan, and one of Daisy's students gave us tickets for the Keisei line which begins in Ueno and ends at the Narita airport. Daisy's student had done this before, and we enjoyed going to the airport and just walking around in the many shops.

The tickets were due to expire on November 30th and November was looking like a busy month. But I realized that November was a five-Sunday month and on a 5th Sunday, we don't have any ministry responsibilities, so my brilliant idea was this: go to church in Higashi Kurume, leave our car there, take the Seibu line train to Ikebukuro (about $3 each), take the Yamanote line train to Nippori (about $1.50 each) and use our free Keisei line tickets (saving $10 each) to take us the rest of the way to shop at the airport. Since church (English speaking I might add) is over around 10:45 a.m. and it takes a little less than two hours for the trip, we could eat at the airport and have all afternoon to shop. Daisy reminded me that the kind of gifts we were looking for could probably be purchased in Asakusa, a much closer town, but that didn't seem nearly as exciting as my idea.

Great plan. I was really excited to get going, but as we went to the car after church, I reached in to get my backpack with all my cameras.... it wasn't there. I remembered I had set it in the hall at our house where I would have to trip over it on the way to the door so as not to miss it but... I missed it anyway. I could have done without my cameras, but my backpack also contained the free tickets! This meant wasting close to an hour driving back home to get the tickets, which we did. Then we drove to our local train station (Higashimurayama), parked the car at Ito's (department store that charges for parking) and hopped on the train.

Since we had lost that hour and were both getting hungry, Daisy suggested that we go to Ueno, eat at TGI Fridays

and then get on the Keisei line there. That sounded like a good idea, and fortunately we both ate the same meal cause it was loaded with garlic.

So after we ate we got on the train. I was excited because the train was a limited express, which would get to the airport sooner since it doesn't stop at all the stations. After we got on the train, there were a number of announcements. Now you have to understand that in Japan no one seems to listen to the announcements that occur before each station. They usually announce where we are and other lines that also stop there if one needs to transfer, but all the Japanese seem to know where they are and how to get where they're going so they pay no attention; and besides the announcer always sounds like he swallowed the mike (we think they go to a special school to learn this skill) so even if we could understand Japanese, we wouldn't be able to understand what he says--so we don't pay much attention either.

However, there seemed to be more than the ordinary amount of announcements on this train, and I asked Daisy if she thought they were saying anything important. She assured me that unless everyone starts getting up and leaving the train, they probably aren't. At the 3rd stop (Takasago, 12 minutes into the trip), the doors opened and there was another announcement. In the middle of this announcement, heads began to turn, people looked around and suddenly everyone started standing up and getting off the train. Now as Daisy had mentioned, we've learned that it is not a good sign when everyone exits a train that is nowhere near its destination!

We quickly looked around and I said, "Anyone speak English?" A young lady with her family quickly came over and said, "Do you understand?" We said no, and she told us that the train would go no further due to an accident ahead, and that they had announced we would have to go back to Nippori (the first stop after Ueno) and take the JR train line to the airport. (We had no free tickets for the JR train line!) The lady also said that we might be able to take a bus or a taxi and that the train line would pay for it. This was all well and good, but we had no way of explaining this to those who would be responsible to get us to the airport.

So Daisy suggested that we just go back to Ueno and take a short subway line to... yes you guess it, Asakusa, and do our shopping there, which we did. We were able to find the things we were looking for and had a good time. By the time we got home, we were pretty tired and actually glad that we hadn't gone all the way to the airport.

So my brilliant plan was about as good as the time I tried to...

Tug on Superman's cape, or the time I tried to,

Spit in the wind, or the time I tried to,

Pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger,

etc. etc. (You people who liked 70's music will understand!)

So if I have any more brilliant ideas, I'll be sure to let you know but don't hold your breath.

P.S. At least Ito's didn't charge us to park. We have no idea why, but as is often the case, the exit gate to their parking lot was up so what would have cost us $10 was free!

P.S.S. I didn't have a lot of pictures for this blog so I thought you might enjoy a couple signs that were on one of the trains.

TOILETS

Whereas it is a well known fact that things tend to take on the temperature of their surroundings (well I don’t know if it’s well known and I’m not even sure it is a fact but it sounds good for what I need) and

Whereas many houses in Japan heat during the winter with kerosene and

Whereas open flames and kerosene are not a good combination in a country prone to earthquakes (so heat must be turned off at night)

Be it resolved that going to the bathroom in the middle of the night can be a rather chilly awakening to one’s posterior--our house temp got down to 44 degrees one night.

But the Japanese are quite resourceful. In our house we have toilet seat covers made from a terry-cloth-type material. They come in a variety of colors and can be picked up quite cheaply at the 100 yen shop. Or you can purchase a simple seat that you plug in and it is always warm. (Although in this case one hopes that there won’t be any short circuits).

For those who like to be pampered, you can purchase a toilet seat (for up to $500 or so ) that has additional features. These pictures were taken at the Narita airport in Tokyo. I’ve blown up the instructions so you can read about the individual options. (The airport obviously didn’t spring for the high end model as not all buttons are present.) Some models also come with driers. Warm air will gently blow on your...well you get the idea.

(I don't know why the flushing sound is exclusively for women. I'd like to know but who would I ask?)

Since the instructions for the different functions on these upscale toilet seats often aren't available (or they're in Japanese), sometimes it's tempting to experiment by pressing the various buttons in restaurant or hotel bathrooms. One woman who accompanied Daisy on a prayer trip to Kyoto would tell you that is definitely NOT a good idea. She ended up having water squirted directly into her mouth as she leaned over the toilet, pushing different buttons in their hotel bathroom!

Now if this looks like something that you need in your house, they are available in the States. In fact if you go to http://www.sandman.com/intimst.html you can find info and a very “informative” 5-minute video--the ending is worth waiting for.

Now lest you think that in Japan we live in the lap of luxury, let me show you the other style of Japanese toilets.

From the picture you may be asking, “Where do you sit?” Well duh, why do you think they call it the squatty potty? You don’t. I would like to report that I have now been in Japan for over 2 years total time since we first came in 2001, and I have not yet used one of these. My goal is to keep it that way.

Public washrooms are usually equipped with Japanese style toilets, but the number of public washrooms with Western style toilets has increased significantly, especially in tourist areas. Public washrooms with both Japanese and Western style toilets are also common.

One thing you will want to remember should you come visit us is that because toilet paper is sometimes not provided in public washrooms, it is recommended that you always carry a small package of tissues with you. (People are always giving these away near the train stations.) Similarly, because paper towels or dryers are not always provided, it is recommended that you carry a handkerchief

In conclusion, I can only say that even in the basic functions of daily life, Japan continues to be an intricately woven combination of the very old...



and the very new.

OLD BLOG UPDATE

Just thought I’d update some old blogs.

FOOD

We saw a new record for the price of two cantaloupes (in a nice box.)—about $265.

UNWELCOME SQUATTERS

Sadly, with the warmer weather the cockroaches have returned. We tried the smoke bombs but that hasn’t had much of an effect, so we have resorted to the “roach motels.” (And an occasional shoe.) As you can see the hotels are quite attractive, and we have had a number of roaches check in. But as you can also see, none have checked out. (Actually they have checked out, in a manner of speaking.)

OBTAINING A DRIVERS LICENSE

Last fall I promised you that I would update you in the spring when I took my driving test. (Well now it’s summer and no one wrote to ask, so either you aren’t reading my blogs or you forgot or you don’t really care, but I’ll update you anyway.) My driving has gone very well so far except for a pole that jumped out and grabbed our car as I pulled into a parking lot.

As you may or may not recall, the first thing I needed was a Japanese translation of my Pennsylvania license. I wasn’t sure how to get to the JAF office (Japanese equivalent of AAA), so a man in our Alpha group agreed to take me. We left at 9:00 a.m. on June 30 and arrived at 10:20 a.m. (This is quite understandable as the office was about 14 miles away.)
The translating took about 20 minutes and $30. The return trip would take us close to the testing place, so I decided that I would take the written part of the test on the way home.

step one - go to the third floor and begin the paperwork
step two - go back down to the first floor and pay $24
step three - go to a different place on the first floor and take the eye test which
consisted of telling the tester which direction the opening in the
circle was pointing and identifying the colors that flashed on the screen:
red, yellow and “blue.” (Why not green? I have no idea. Those of you
who know and may have been concerned about my “color weakness”
problem, I did fine.)
step four - go back to the third floor and pick a date to take the driving test. I
chose Friday, July 3.

I needed to be at the testing center by 9:00 a.m. and having been told that the parking lot fills up quickly, I left home about 6:45 a.m. (After all, the center is about 10 miles and 56 stoplights from our place.) Anyway I arrived at 7:30 a.m. and just killed time until 8:30 a.m. when the window opened on the third floor, and I could let them know that I was there. Other people wandered in, one man was from Ghana and one from Morocco I think. One young man was Japanese but lived in Columbus, Ohio, and said he was taking the test for the fourth time.

Around 9:15 a.m. the “tester” policeman came out and got us (just 10) in order (I would go fourth), and he led us down to the course. (If you have Google Earth you can do a “fly to” 35 41 23.34 N,139 30 55.47 E and see it. You can also fly to 35 45 15.00 N, 139 27 12.83 E and see the roof of our house.) He proceeded to talk about what might have been important but I couldn’t understand him. The trip around the course is no more than 10 minutes, so it wasn’t too long until it was my turn to ride in the back seat and get a feel for what would be expected. (While driver #1 takes the test, driver #2 gets to ride in the back seat.) Driver #3 did a fine job and turned out to be one of the five that passed, and then it was my turn.

I started out of the parking lot and made my first mistake. Since we all drive the same course, I knew that I would be turning left, so I didn’t stop in a perpendicular manner relative to the white strip on the road. The tester proceeded to tell me at length about what I had done wrong. At least that’s what I assume he said since I couldn’t understand, but his many hand gestures told me that I wasn’t perpendicular. I proceeded through the course and thought I did OK, but when I was done he made some hand movements that made me think I might have swung a little too wide around a road hazard.

So it was back to the third floor to wait till everyone was done and when the names were called of those who passed, Townsend wasn’t one of them. (Neither was the fourth timer.) So I got my form, went to another window on the third floor, paid another $24 and came back and rescheduled for Monday the 6th. I found it ironic that I drove myself 45 minutes to the test site, failed a 10-minute test and drove back home.

(Daisy’s turn - While in the process of editing this, I noticed that one thing Donn had neglected to tell you was what a basket case he was between Friday and Monday! He’s never had a problem falling asleep at night, but he was awake by around 4:00 a.m. every morning, lost his appetite at times, and admitted that he’d been over that course in his mind more than times than he could possibly count, even with his math degree! We all have our own customized battles with trust!)

So Monday morning it was the same routine. This time there were only six of us but again I was fourth. We had a different tester and he looked much more stern. (Another guy that had failed with me on Friday said he noticed the officer had a cauliflower ear which told him that he was probably into judo and a “no-nonsense” type.)

This officer also led us down to the waiting area and talked and talked and talked and… I made very good eye contact with him but I didn’t have a clue. At one point I heard Nihongo and wakarimasen which means “don’t understand Japanese”. So I quickly said, “Nihongo ga wakarimasen.” I thought he was asking who didn’t understand Japanese, but I found out later that he was saying that if you didn’t understand Japanese you shouldn’t be taking the test! If you think about it, that was a rather ______ (fill in your own word) thing to say cause if you understood what he said, it didn’t apply, and if it applied you didn’t know what he said.

So I got into the back seat again when the third driver went, and she was pretty bad, so perhaps my driving looked pretty good in comparison to hers! Regardless, the course was the same as it had been on Friday so when it was my turn, I nailed it. (Well if truth be told, the Lord nailed it. I just went for the ride.) The tester was actually very kind and although he only spoke Japanese he would tell me which way to turn (migi-right or hidori-left and as each road is marked with a number he would say that in Japanese but hold up the corresponding number of fingers)

So now I’m a licensed Japanese driver. An interesting side fact is that even though I’ve been driving for 44 years, I have to have a “beginner” sticker on my car because I couldn’t prove that I’ve actually driven in the United States for at least a year. My renewal PA license was issued in ’06 but we got new passports in ’08 and that is the only way that they can tell that I’ve actually been in the country. They did say that if I can bring my old passport in I can have that restriction removed so hopefully I can do that soon.

So come on over. I’ll take you out for a spin and I’ll try to remember to keep to the left.

Pool

About 1.9 miles from our house (10-25 minutes depending on how we hit the nine stoplights and how much time we spend waiting on trains) is a sports center complex. Part of this complex is a swimming pool where it was suggested that Daisy do some walking to help with pain that she was having. Since we don’t do the language very well, one of Daisy’s students and her husband (one of our Alpha guests) agreed to go with us the first time.

As you enter the separate building which contains the pool, the first thing you need to do is take off your shoes (after all this is Japan) and leave them on a shelf or in a locker if you have shoes that are worth stealing. You then proceed through the automatic sliding door, and around the corner you find the ticket machine where for 400 yen each ($4) we get our tickets. (Blue button on the machine is for boys ticket and pink button for girls). This allows us 2 hours in the pool. Down the long hall and down one floor on the elevator gets us to the desk where they stamp our ticket and say some things that we can’t understand.

Two things our “advisors” had told us repeatedly was that everyone MUST wear a bathing cap (don’t I look cute?), and you can’t use soap to wash at the pool. (We were a little puzzled by that because we aren’t in the habit of washing in the pools in America, but later noticed “no soap” signs in the shower stalls.) Daisy’s student also told her that we weren’t allowed to take our towels out to the pool (there was a rod with towels hanging on it that said “towels” above it so we tend to doubt that rule) and insisted that she rinse her face of chemicals from the pool in an area that looked like mini water fountains, although we didn’t see anyone else doing that.

Since we planned to only walk in waist high water, Daisy (who is very near-sighted) thought that she would be able to keep her glasses on, but her student checked with the life guard and was told she could but only if she had a strap. So before we went the second time, we purchased a strap for $10 only to be told that it didn’t matter, “No glasses allowed.” (Later, we discovered that there are goggles that one can buy (we don’t know where) for a steep price that would be sort of like “prescription” goggles for near-sighted people. Perhaps that was what they were referring to when they mentioned having a strap???)

Daisy also learned another pool “no no” after she got her hair cut. She had been wearing earrings consistently during our visits to the pool, but apparently no one had noticed because her hair covered them. In our first visit to the pool following her hair cut, one of the life guards came to tell her to take off her earrings. Even though we couldn’t understand her words, it was pretty obvious what she was saying!

I had hoped to take a lot of pictures, especially of the “changing of the guard,” for this blog, but last night as I sat in the glassed-in balcony waiting for the life guards to change, a girl came and told me (at least I think that’s what she said), “no pictures allowed.”

In America when it’s time for lifeguards to change, that’s what they do. One gets off the chair, one gets on the chair and that’s it. Not here. The new one stands beside the chair holding a yellow cone in his/her hand while the one on the chair goes through the motions of looking at every space in the room (pool, balcony, behind them, etc.) and all the while moving their hand back and forth in a (to me) puzzling way. The only thing I can compare it to is the sort of motion a priest makes when blessing his people. Then they switch places and go through the routine again.

On the half hour an announcement is made—we have no idea what they say, but apparently it’s not important because no one has come to scold us for not complying. Then at five minutes before the hour another announcement is made and the lifeguard blows a whistle, and everyone must get out of the pool for a ten-minute “rest.” We are allowed to be in the Jacuzzi during the rest period and there is also a spa where one can spend that ten minutes—those are both also available at any other time.

There are two mops hanging in the men’s locker so that when (not if) you drip on the floor after swimming, you can mop it up. Lockers are available for 100 yen (about $1.00) to store clothing while swimming and the money is returned when leaving.

So it’s a bit different than the States but once we accepted the rules, it has become a pleasurable experience. The room and water temperature are kept at 30 degrees Centigrade (since America tried to go metric many years ago I’m sure that you all know that is about 86 degrees Fahrenheit).

So we invite you to come on over and join us for a walk, but don’t forget your bathing cap.

Cherry Blossom Time

Some of you may have been to Washington DC in April and viewed the cherry blossoms. Those trees were a gift from Japan in 1912. Over here we get to see the real thing. These first two pictures are the view from our bedroom window, as we have 3 large trees on our lot.

Cherry blossom time is a very big deal in Japan. Weather officials are also a part of the hype. The forecast maps went pink in March and April as officials issued predictions of when and where flowers would bloom. A couple years ago they missed their forecast by a couple days and issued a national apology. These predictions are crucial in a country where hanami -- flower-viewing parties at which lavish picnics are consumed, accompanied by beer or sake -- are planned weeks in advance among friends or by businesses looking to boost employee morale.

We heard that some companies would send out employees days in advance to claim a particular

location to party.

On Monday March 30 I went to a park in Ueno, about a 50-minute train ride from our house. Not all the trees were in bloom but I was able to get some nice pictures. Then on Saturday, April 4, we went to Shinjuku Gyoen, another large park with over 75 varieties and over 1500 trees, and the day was perfect. The trees were in full bloom and thousands of people were there. We thought it was interesting that an announcement was made in both Japanese and English that said that it was illegal to have alcohol on the park grounds. It was everywhere.

Some of the people had little box lunches, others had brought grills but the most ingenious group that we saw was at a park closer to our home. A number of young men walked past us with bags, coolers and a generator that was needed to power the microwave that one of the guys was carrying. Sorry I missed that picture. Of course you don’t have to bring your own food. Some of the areas do have vendors that tempt you with fine Japanese delicacies. Those of you that read my last blog will not be surprised to know that the Lord gave me the strength not to yield to temptation.

(Fish on a stick? I don’t think so.)

For you golfers out there, I heard an announcement that one of the local golf courses would be closed on Sunday so that people could walk around the course and picnic under the trees. Somehow I just don’t see that happening in the States!!

So sit back and enjoy.

Food

Many of you may have heard Daisy say that when it comes to eating, I am very picky. I like to think of myself as “selective,” and in Japan I have learned to be VERY selective. I have never cared for any kind of fish (OK, I can eat tuna sandwiches because enough Miracle Whip can cover up most of the fishy taste), but over here there’s also squid, octopus, seaweed… Now that’s a whole different story! I did try one fish egg once. It was about the size of a pea and when I bit into it, this fishy-flavored juice exploded in my mouth. One was more than enough! I also tried a small piece of squid that I chewed...and chewed… and chewed… Nothing happened except for this seafood taste in my mouth. In Japan they don’t have fish-n-chips because over here, fish are chips. If you would like a potato-chip-like snack, you can buy a bag of small, dried fish, with the heads still on.

We have a food court in the new mall about 25-30 minutes from us (6 miles), and we walk past a lot of strange-looking things on our way to KFC. It could be that we might find them tasty but since we can’t read the ingredients and we can’t ask what they are, we decide it’s better to move on. (Some of their soups look good but we have learned the hard way that they often use a fish-flavored base.)

I’d like to like seafood as it is supposed to be good for high cholesterol people like me, but it’s not going to happen. One of the young pastors who was at the TBS Church when we were here before always wanted me to eat what he called taco salad. Now that sounded fine until I realized it’s spelled “tako” which means octopus… Enough said!

But there is good news. Japan has excellent fruits and vegetables. There are many Mom and Pop fruit and veggie markets in our area--our favorite being Yamato’s. We have been eating strawberries since January and they are much sweeter than those in the States. Lately mikans (delicious Japanese oranges) are in season, and in a few months, their sweet, juicy watermelons will be ready. On the vegetable side, Daisy particularly likes their cucumbers, and I enjoy daikon, which is a very large, mild-tasting radish.

Now the prices of things here were a bit of a shock. If we can find corn on the cob for the equivalent of $1 an ear, it’s a good deal. In some stores a single stalk of celery will normally be more than $1. Most apples are quite large and sometimes will be priced at $1 apiece or more. When you are invited to someone’s house, it is the custom to take a gift; and food is often the choice. The pictures show 2 cantaloupes for over $160 and a watermellon (in a nice box) for about $105.

Many American food items are available here if you search enough stores, but for a price. We recently bought a box of 10 Swiss Miss hot chocolate packets and paid about $4.50. An 18 oz. box of Rice Krispies is $9.00. Five cans of Campbell’s Cream of Chicken soup are $8.99. Hamburg is about $3.60 a pound. Needless to say, we don’t buy most of these things very often.

A “loaf” of bread can have between 2 and 10 slices. In the 2, 3 and 4 slice loaves the slices are a little more than an inch thick. And unless you buy a real loaf in a bakery, you don’t get the heel slices. Milk and juice only come in 1 liter (quart) sizes. Also it is extremely rare to find any bones in any cut of meat. Think about it. You don’t eat bones so why would a store sell them?

So I am not starving and I am not wasting away to nothing, but it amazes me that a country that eats raw fish won’t eat raw cauliflower. Go figure!